What We Learned From South Korea vs Greece (2-0)


Beware of Greeks Being Shit

By far the worst team on view so far (and with everyone in Group A in the mix that’s saying something), the Greeks have elevated themselves to a unique position in World Football. Coming into this match they had never won a World Cup game, nor had they ever scored a World Cup goal and on this level of performance, nothing was set to change (and you know what nothing did). They are indisputably a bad day Bolton in disguise, playing a game that involves extensive use of the in-the-back barge at every opportunity, along with petulant whining and ref-baiting. Once they were a goal down they never looked like getting back into the game. But when you consider that their main striker, Samaras, finds it hard to get a game, let alone make an impact in the Scottish league, it’s unsurprising that their main talent is bare knuckled defending. They are the MuckDonalds Shit Sandwich of this World Cup buffet. I can’t wait for Argentina to give them the rapacious spanking they so utterly deserve.

The South Koreans Are Kind Like Bunk Moreland

Yes, like Bunk Moreland from The Wire, the South Koreans were gentle when it came time to fuck the Greeks for the first time. They never ran wild, never really tried to force the game and Park Ji-Sung’s solo goal aside, never went out to blatantly humiliate a side that was never really in this game. Admittedly they never really got out of second gear and once they had gone 2 up they really didn’t look too enthusiastic to bust a gut to make it 3. Their match against Nigeria will determine who goes through alongside Argentina.

That Pitch Was Wemberley Class

Cut ups, divots, browning patches. The pitch looked like a badly laid Subbuteo baize that’s been stepped on by those new fangled nail shoes. I don’t fancy being one of the teams playing the fifth game there. It will be a dump by then. Oh hold on, that will be Solvenia vs Engerland. Still at least the boys will feel at home.

Can We Have A Good Game Please

Because so far nothing has really lived up to Premiership quality, let alone Champions League quality.

3 Down 61 To Go

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