What We Learned From Ghana vs Serbia (1-0)


You’re Just A Stereotype

Both sides played into the highly unbiased neo-bigotry we brought into the game. Ghana, the fiery heart of Africa, played neat, muscular football, while Serbia, the self-conscious new boys in Europe, went cagey, cautious and all ex-communist. And in the end it was the extra adventure of Ghana that proved the deciding factor.

Two New Moves (Not To Be Encouraged)

We’ve seen two exciting new moves in this World Cup. Unlike previous  moves such as the Adriano or the Cruyff Turn, which have been great ways of altering the direction of the ball and player and are obviously great examples of ball skills, these are detrimental to the game. The first is the ‘Green Save’, whereby a seemingly innocuous vaguely goal-bound effort is deftly spooned into the net. Exemplified (invented even) by Engerland’s Rob Green, this is the pinnacle of goalkeeping howlidge. Not content with watching the ‘Green’ being showcased yesterday, the Algerian keeper decided to develop his own variation of the ‘Green’ and watch the ball into the back of the net without even bothering. The second new move is the blatant handball in the area masquerading as a ‘Maradonna’ or a ‘Henry Assist’. Invariably spotted and punished, this move, like the ‘Green’, is a game changer. We saw how Ghezzal’s attempt the catch the ball and ‘Henry’ it into the net changed the game in Slovenia’s benefit. Here we saw the first defensive use of the ‘Maradonna’ as Serbia’s Kuzmanovic attempted to volleyball the matchball away from a Ghanahan head, conceding a completely needless penalty in the process. It was a just reward for Ghana’s more adventurous play throughout the match.

There Was A Danger Of Football Breaking Out

What with Ghana’s more ambitious play overpowering Serbia’s caution and ex-Spurs reject and Pompey mainstay Kevin Prince Boateng taking charge in the middle of the field, there seemed to be a danger of footballing breaking out during the game. Nice to see.

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