Not A Bad Beating At All

True there really isn’t a ‘good’ time to take a beating on the International stage. But if there was (and we’ll say it again, there isn’t), then this was the time. Engerland have qualified well for Euro 2012, dispensed with a manager they didn’t care for anymore, and kicked a whole parcel of ‘football as moral cesspit discuss’ issues into touch. With a temporary coach in Stuart Pearce and no immediate pressure on the team to WIN WIN WIN, this was unquestionable the one match where it was totally acceptable to be as experimental as possible.  And you know what? It wasn’t all that bad, there were even a few positives. No really.

Are You Making A Pass At Me?

I actually applauded when, in the 8th minute, Engerland managed to deftly pass their way out of defence and convert good, pacy midfield play into a genuine attacking move. A move which I suspect would have been even more effective had its intended recipient, Gerrard, not been suffering from ‘tight’ hamstrings and been able to get to the final ball.

Sure, they didn’t score. In truth they didn’t even get a shot in as a result. And, no, I don’t want them to be doing this every time. But the message it sent, that Engerland have players that not only can do this, but have the nerve to do it on the international stage, was fabulously encouraging. The notion that they actually understand what they’re doing with the ball when it’s on the ground is also something of a revelation. And the confidence the players seemed to have that their teammates both wanted the ball and knew what to do with it once they received it was something I hadn’t seen in an Engerland team for a while.

There’s No I In Team

This was especially pleasing given it was a team which hadn’t played many minutes together. But it was good to see that the relations forged at both club level and the U-21s seem to be paying dividends. Hart and Richards seemed capable of passing the ball around in defence to reduce threat rather than simply hoof n hoping, in a way that Cahill and Baines (who’ve not played together much) didn’t.

We also discovered quite a bit about the players on the edges of the Engerland team. I think the key things we learnt are that Richards is an international class right back (albeit not a great one yet). He and Kyle Walker should be pushing ahead of Glen Johnson. That Scott Parker is the right man for the Engerland captaincy (safe, uncontroversial and a guaranteed starter).  And that both Sturridge and Cahill have deceptively dainty feet.

We discovered a number of other things. Although maybe discovered is the wrong word, it’s more like it reinforced what we suspected. We found out that there isn’t much difference in terms of attacking threat between Johnson and Walcott. That Young can be largely anonymous for huge periods of the game, can’t defend in any way and still scores important goals. That Downing is fundamentally unimpressive. That Hart is the best keeper we’ve had for a generation. That Sturridge is a player who threatens more than he actually delivers (but that’s a great starting point). And that the team is strangely worse when Gareth Barry isn’t playing.

I know, I found the last one both unexpected and disturbing.

And The Same Faults Came Back To Haunt Us

But, as they say, it wasn’t an entirely good news defeat. For all the positive elements they displayed, a patchwork Engerland team were undone by some very familiar faults.

Hoof It!

If there’s one thing that the so-called Golden Generation of Engerland’s past-its could do right it was hoofing the ball accurately into either Row Z or the opponents’ defenders. Now I’m sure people can find occasions when this ‘tactic’ actually worked, but largely it’s an almost perfect way of losing possession and giving the ball back to the opposition. So, along with the ricochet shinpad thing (see below)  it’s one of Engerland’s most infuriating habits (and one of the reasons the passing movement above was so welcome). And while this side didn’t reach the heights of the usual, ‘pass it around the back for a bit to no great effect, then give it to Rio to hoof it’ strategy, there were too many occasions where the hoof was used, not least by the hoofmeister Gerrard, whose trademark hospital hoof was in particular evidence.

Stevie Me

This was one of Gerrard’s worst games in an Engerland shirt. Indeed, he was so disinterested and so poor that I thought his removal in the 33 minute was a genuine tactical substitution. He didn’t contribute, didn’t track back, made some truly ghastly hoof n hope punts and barely got above a slow carthorse trot when he could be bothered enough.  If there’s one clear negative lesson from this game, it’s that Gerrard is not the powerhouse player he pretends to be.

Off The Pace

International football is a strange beast, vastly different from the full-on pell mell of the Prem and Engerland still seem incapable of dealing with it. For pretty much the entire first half, the game was a relatively open, flowing match of passing and moving, with the Dutch being slightly ahead in terms of possession and movement, but neither side was really threatening. Then in two minutes in the second half they turned it on. Robben pounced on a ball breaking off as a result of an Engerland attack, then rushed from his own half to the Engerland box and scored. In one turn of speed he’d taken out the entire midfield and, helped by Huntelaar’s clever running beside him, totally disorientated the defence. So much so they clearly hadn’t recovered when Huntelaar headbutted the second a minute later. Engerland have to be more attuned to the pace of the game and ready to react.

That All Out Attack Thing Just Ain’t Working

The secret is out (as Germany’s special Cologne institute showed at the 2010 World Cup). Engerland just aren’t disciplined enough. The defence can easily be pulled out of position, while the midfield won’t supply enough cover to compensate. Again the midfield’s over-enthusiasm for joining the attack left a cavernous hole in the middle of the park for Robben to exploit for the crucial first goal. Indeed that area was so bare there wasn’t even anyone there to ‘accept the booking’ for taking Robben down early on in his break, which you can bet Van Bommel would have been more than happy to do had the situation been reversed.

And while the chaos in the defence can hopefully be rectified once the players become more familiar with one another (it wasn’t any worse than the chaos between Rio and Terry in the Germany game), the lack of midfield cover shows a tactical nativity which will be harshly exploited by teams in Euro 2012 . This is the special role that Gareth Barry should fulfill, providing that key initial protection for the defence, before calmly moving the ball on to the midfielders.

Ricochet Shinpads (Get Them While They’re Hot)

If there’s one thing that epitomised the negative side of the game, it was Engerland’s apparent reliance on Ricochet shinpads. How else do you explain the players’ apparent inability to actually control a pass? It’s bad enough seeing them standing with their backs to the opponent’s goal receiving the ball and doing nothing constructive with it, but to regularly see the ball ricochet 20 yards off their shins every time it’s passed towards them is to know the very depths of depression. If you can’t even receive the ball, how the hell can we expect you to control, command and use it effectively?