Archive for the 'Creativity' Category

Some Nice Graff To Make Up For World Cup Disappointment


Some good graff I saw while on my way to a meeting.


Archive for the 'Creativity' Category

What We Learned From Uruguay vs South Africa (3-0)


And So It Begins…

A bit like the second half of Gladiator, it started off slowly but now it’s time for Maximus Gladiatorius Violentius to walk out alone and stab a whole load of bastards to death. This round of matches matter. There will be those who will effectively be out of the running by the end of this Round, so unlike the first match, where not losing was, apparently, more important than actually winning, winning is everything. Let’s say it again, Losers Will Go Home. Starting now.

Who Was The Star Of The Show?

Anyone remember Poborsky, the topiary-haired Czech winger Man U bought on the back of Euro 96, who stumbled and fell and never quite managed to live up to the promise of a couple of good matches in the Euros? Well imagine everyone’s surprise when a player who was deemed even less successful at Old Trafford (no not Eric Djemba-Djemba or Juan Sebastian Veron) appears to be the Star of the Show here in Aferica. Yes, while Rhino, Ronalda, Messi, Kaka, Juan Sebastian Veron, Uncle Tom Cobley and all, misfire like a bunch of badly converted starter pistols, the one-time useless boy of the Stratford End has become the tournament’s top scorer and the influential lynchpin of Uruguay’s campaign. He scored a fantastic long range whammer, then helped cement the victory by whacking in the penalty to make it 2 – 0. Who’d have thunk it?

That’s The End Of South Africa Then

Despite the blaring noise of vuvuzelas and the overwhelming enthusiasm of pretty much the entire non-Uruguayan world, a distinct lack of footballing talent wasn’t quite enough to get South Africa through this game. Unless they achieve the super-double-bonus miracle of having France and Mexico draw and then beat France in their final match by something like 4 – 0, South Africa are on their way home. Fortunately for them as the tournament is being held in South Africa, they won’t have far to travel. Sadly for them they will be the first host nation to fail to make it through the Group games.

17 Down 47 To Go


Archive for the 'Creativity' Category

What We Learned From Japan vs Cameroon (1-0)


That Was A Knockout Match

Once again, goals change games. Once the Japanese had scored with the only halfway decent move of the first half, Cameroon had to score and that set the trend for the rest of the match. Japan had asked the question and Cameroon had none of the answers. It was quite interesting when it got to 85 minutes and you’re hoping Cameroon don’t score and they’re increasingly pressing forward. Cameroon’s failure to get into the game illustrates the drawbacks of a conservative opening attitude. Cameroon’s next match, against the Danes, who also lost today, is now a must win. Even then, they will have to get a result from the Holland match. Tempting to say Goodbye Cameroon.

Nice Try Nippon

They were fantastically unlucky in their friendly against Engerland where they not only bossed the game, but managed to score all the goals. This was Japan’s first World Cup win outside Japan, so nicely done.

Take Note Pragmatists

Those teams that are playing not to get beaten should take note here. Cameroon were the outstanding favourites for this game, but totally failed to get a result, primarily because they didn’t attempt to seize the game. They were happy to pootle around the Japanese, but came up against a well-drilled, functionally proficient side. It illustrates the need for teams to attempt to dominate the game and force a result rather than muddle along hoping things turn out alright.

10 Down 54 To Go


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What We Learned From Engerland vs USA (1-1)


Engerland Don’t Have The Love

In Brazil, where they play real football, they have a saying, “The first touch is to love the ball, then you can do what you like with it”. The implication is that the first touch transforms the ball from an inanimate thing into an object of desire. Now watching masters of this technique you begin to see how it all happens. Watching Messi earlier today you saw the ball seemingly attached mesmerically to his feet. Engerland, however, don’t hold to this seductive philosophy. Instead, for the Engerlish, the ball is something to be feared, hated and disposed of as soon as possible. How else do you explain our negligent approach to possession. We don’t so much cherish the ball as distain it, seeking to cede possession as swiftly as possible. Where other teams play the ball around the back, the midfield, even the attack, Engerland fall back on the ‘hoof’, lofting the ball over the halfway line to the opposition. Only in the last 20 minutes did Engerland show any willingness to want to keep the ball.

That Was Robert Green’s International Career That Was

With a display of catastrophic ineptitude, Green joined a long line of Engerland goalies. Peter Bonetti against Germany in Mexico 70, David Seamen against Brazil in Japan 2002, Paul Robinson against Croatia in the Euro 2008 qualifiers, Scott Carson against Croatia in the Euro 2008 qualifiers among them. You kind of feel that with his real experience this season being picking the ball out of the West Ham net last season, he wasn’t the best choice for Engerland’s number one. Joe Hart, who pushed Birmingham way beyond where they should have been, would have been a better choice. You also feel that the Engerland coaching staff must supply some kind of special training for this (and I don’t mean post-incident psychological trauma counselling although they would be well skilled in that by now), because you don’t see that level of consistently shit performance without some kind of prior planning. I mean I don’t see the Brazillians or the French, both of whom have had their share of nutter keepers in the past, displaying this regularity of spastic performance these days. I think both Green’s and the entire Engerland goalkeeping staff’s days are numbered.

The Rhino Is An Endangered Species

You can count on the thumbs of one hand (possibly the same outside thumb that Robert Green used to spoon the ball into the back of the net) the number of real game-changing opportunities Wayne Rhino has had in the last four Engerland matches. In contrast to his effect when playing with Man U, where he has had his most successful season, Rhino looks isolated and ineffective for Engerland. He shows none of the potency that announced his appearance at Euro 2004, little of the ambition and, ultimately, isn’t making that much of a contribution to the team. Given he is far and away Engerland’s most skillful player, and really the only Engerland player who can genuinely change an international game, it is criminal to mismanage him this way.

Too Often Engerland Chose The Safe Option

If Engerland have a style (and that’s a pretty big if), it’s that we have fast, pacey wingers and full backs who get down the line, challenge the defence and open up goal-scoring  opportunities. However, currently neither our wingers nor our full backs are punishing their opponents and Engerland don’t really look much of a threat. You need to ask, Do we want to win the World Cup, or just not lose it?

Remember Engerland vs France, Euro 2004? It’s Deja Vu All Over Again

Five minutes to go, Engerland were 1 – 0 up and coasting. They even managed to miss a penalty. Then, in the last 5 minutes, a foul by Heskey provided Zidane with the platform to level the match before a suicidal back pass from Steven Gerrard gifted the French with a penalty that they didn’t miss. Now as then Engerland are their own worst enemy.  Like all the teams we’ve seen, bar possibly the Argies, Engerland look totally beatable.

5 Down 59 To Go


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Once More Into The Bleed


Once Stringer Bell retired from drug dealing, he found welcome employment in the London police force

As the mad old waiter said in Twin Peaks, “It is happening again.”

Characters are bleeding from one series into another. Only this time it’s not the local bleed of Baltimorians from The Wire suddenly finding themselves a few miles down the road in balmy (or possibly barmy) Washington DC and The West Wing. This time it’s altogether closer to home as characters from Spooks, many of whom have been severely mutilated or, worse, simply written out, descend on the killing grounds of Luther.

I’m less worried by the reappearance of Stinger Bell pretending to be a gor-blimey proper London rozzer. After all String needed some sort of realistic exit plan after being roundly killed at the end of The Wire Season 3. You don’t come back to Baltimore after a shotgunning from Omar, especially not when it’s fatal. A quick change of ID and a switch to the other side of the legal tracks seems like the way for String to try to reinvent himself. No, I’m really worried about the reappearance of the arsey City trader from Spooks as blood-drinking, victim freezing mental mass murderer. Or the realisation that Ruth has obviously been cheating on Harry Pearce and far from ‘being abroad’ between Series has been living with a mass-murdering pretend cabbie and displaying none of the wry insight she really possesses.

Luther is one of those programmes that acts as a nexus, sucking in characters from other series and spitting them out as rearranged pseudo-people. It’s as if they’re not really who they are and are simply replaying words funnelled into their heads from strange schizophrenic broadcasting centres. They have double (sometimes treble) lives and it’s getting more and more confusing. Who knows when this madness will stop.


Archive for the 'Creativity' Category

Damn fine coffee